Sometimes you find yourself in the right place and the right time. I was trying on a few things in the dressing room of a major department store, when I overheard my neighbor in the room next to me.

“Hey Mom… What do you think?” (a hopeful hint of enthusiasm in her voice).

“Oh, NO. Looks like a balloon.”

“I, uh, really like the color.”

“Fine, but it shows off the parts you need to work on.”


“Let’s find something else.”

“Never mind. I don’t feel like shopping.”

I was stunned. Right in that moment, I could hear the negative thoughts running through that girl’s head…”I’m fat, I’m ugly, my Mom thinks I’m ugly, I can never find anything that looks good on me…” Blah, blah blah. Down the rabbit hole of misery she went.

I wanted to scream, “NO!!! I have never laid eyes on you, but I happen to think you’re beautiful and perfect just the way you are!”

Dearest mystery Mother, maybe that outfit wasn’t flattering, but there are so many better ways of saying it.

For starters:

“You’re right. That color is wonderful on you. Let’s see what else they have in that color.”

“You know, tunics are big for Fall. You want me to find some? A tunic will really show off your great legs.”

“While you’re here, let me go and grab a few more things. I saw something I thought you would LOVE.”

If I had a nickel for every time a woman had a negative thought about her body, I would be a billionaire many times over, but true riches come from FEELING beautiful. Had that Mother gently re-directed her daughter’s clothing selection, she would have encouraged her to find something more flattering to her body while at the same time instilling a sense of confidence in her appearance. Instead, they both walked out feeling dejected and defeated. Ladies and gentlemen, every nagging comment in your mind (or the ones that are thrown around out loud) create negative imprints (or seeds) that grow into serious issues of self-doubt and low self-esteem. Those nasty feelings knock you down and drain you of your brilliant energy.

It’s time for a change. Step into the dressing room of life and put on the outfit of self love and unbridled confidence. You may not always please your Mother, but you can be happy being YOU.


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