The Benefits of Boundaries

by | Jun 27, 2017 | Build Confidence | 5 comments

One thing I have learned by being a mom, is that boundaries are a beautiful thing. They provide order and understanding. They set expectations. They are the antidote of chaos.

So, why do we rarely use them as adults?

In today’s video, I’m sharing a wise lesson I learned from my friend and internet-maven, Sarah Von Bargen, whom I crowned the “Queen of Boundaries”.  She taught me how powerful a few guidelines can be when juggling a busy life.

Take note, my friend. It may be time to create some new boundaries for yourself! Here’s to living life on your terms!

 

PS: So, how do you create boundaries? Let us know in the comments below what’s working and what’s not! Thanks.

  • Bruce Young

    When I was 16 a top South African journalist came to speak at our school. His theme – How The Greatest Freedoms Exist Within The Strongest Structures. It resonated with me, even then. And for the last 40 years I’ve lived my professional and private life by that simple dictum. It has paid off. Bigtime. So I loved your words on boundaries Alexa! Thank you.

    • alexafischer

      Love it, Bruce. What’s one technique you use to create healthy boundaries? What do strong structures look like to you? I’m constantly learning from others and today I made the commitment to be more clear (with myself) about how i use my time. Specific goals with specific deadlines. Clarity is the KEY! Have any words of advice for yours truly? Thanks for your time and so happy to have you here!

      • Bruce Young

        Totally agree Alexa. Being specific and being clear are key to healthy boundaries. But being flexible is also important because strong structures don’t mean ‘rigid’ structures. And then the three F’s have also always served me well in setting up any structure – be Firm, Fair and Friendly and your structure will pretty much always sit well with your team or your family or whoever you’re engaging with. Thank you for this opportunity to share and also for all your wonderful work – I’m finding it enormously helpful on many levels.

  • Important reminder, Alexa. Thank you for sharing this important point (and sharing it with such heartful clarlity – as always.) As a teacher, K-12, I found that ‘setting boundaries’ only worked when I started with defining them. Trying to randomly insert boundaries once classes were in motion was not nearly as effective. You’ve definitely given us a mindful, self-care, empowering reminder. (I re-tweeted it, because everyone needs that reminder.)

    • alexafischer

      Thanks, Nini! Totally agree with you and I would add that checking in with yourself to see if you need to create some new boundaries is also a good practice. I find myself creating new ones FOR MYSELF more relevant today than ever. If you go about it as humbly as possible, with curiosity and compassion – along with the clarity and discipline – you can simplify your life. That’s my goal… I’ll let you know how it goes! Thank you for sharing. I appreciate it more than you know…

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